Lazada Philippines

When Christmas Has Never Been Such Special

  • 3
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
    3
    Shares

When Christmas Becomes Boring

I used to think about Christmas the way others thought about it. I used to think about it like the most special day of the year. I used to think about it was like the happiest day that has to come every year. That’s what I thought about it. That’s how I used to think about it…about Christmas that has never been such special to me.

Back in those days, I was too young to understand about life. Life for me then seemed like no-big-deal to look forward to it. I thought never about death, as well. Nor did I think about success in life, because that time I thought life itself, which kept me from moving, breathing, and understanding wrong understanding about it was already a success. I didn’t even think about keeping it moving to the better, for I understood none of it.

Lazada Philippines

I graduated high school just for the sake of finishing it. I might be such nerd from others’ viewpoint. But that was just me in my simple exercise of my endurance I never thought it would come the way I never expected.

Then, I went to college not for the purpose to study like a pro like the rest at my age did. I had too many things at the back of my mind too assertive to let my passion for a study to die down day by day. And each Christmas to come, I felt like it was just ordinary. Work. Work. Work.  Each time I felt tired, I even kept on making myself tired. Because I know nobody would do the things I have to do for me. It was only me and I…nobody.

A city life during Christmas where I used to work day and night
A city life during Christmas where I used to work day and night—when every Christmas has never been such special to me.

I graduated college; got a work yet still no time for anything they called life at its best even for a simple “break treat” for myself. I couldn’t understand that and not the way they could understand my life, my experience, my perspective, and my needs.

I went to a graduate school, this time for a master’s degree. Still, life to me wasn’t that natural like the rest of the people I saw around. I could still feel I was different in all respects.

I finished my first semester of my MBA program. I looked back the experiences I had and realized I was just wasting time, AGAIN.

Then, Christmas came. Again, an ordinary day for me. I kept myself busy working, writing articles, speeches, and website content for people I don’t know from early evening until 2 a.m. I heard Christmas whistles, whirring, and bombs. People in my neighborhood outside celebrating Christmas the best the could find it; so were they—my board mates.

Yet, still, I couldn’t feel such zest to celebrate Christmas. I rather went to sleep—my not-so-favorite exercise of my soul. I always wanted myself up so I could finish reading everything, writing anything I wanted just to make myself confusingly tired.

Now, Christmas for me is still such like that. I could see from a distance.

This is the story of my life that I don’t want you to understand.

Always,

Bluebird

#TRENDING

3 Thoughts to “When Christmas Has Never Been Such Special”

  1. Thank you very much theryanlanz…

  2. Thank you restereztern for liking it!

  3. Liam De Castro

    Have the happiest holidays Regel! Your blog is outstanding, and please send my regards to Bluebird. Keep going though Heavens may fall and Earth cracks the loudest!

What's your thought about this?